I'd Give

Anything,
For Anything-

Sent by your fingertips...

Or by word of mouth,
Or the soft, sweet,
Whisper
Of your lips....

Again.

And
For
A sweet song in the night?

I'd give all my sonnets...
And for what was-
I'd give
All the breath in me to mend.

You-

The only real thing I
Had to look forward to-

And no,
You never needed me

Quite like I needed you.

But, as it gets closer to summer

I miss the blank pages that
Were never woven together
For words
I never got to write-

I miss the plans I was too afraid
To buy a map for-
But hopeful

Would pan out

Into something more than I had.

I miss the hope of something
Good-

Like getting to fall in love with
You.

And I'd give anything to rewind
And pause my life in the
Pretending-

Because as fake as it was
The way my heart felt was the

Realest thing I've felt
In so long-

And because I never expected
You,
I drink up that memory more-

You were such a surprise,
Something special I treasured
After so much drought
And desperation
For so long.

And I ached
To keep you safe,
Close to my chest,
Wrapped up in my warm hands-

Still and soft
Every night;
Thanking God-
That for the first time in forever,
I had something right.

And I miss holding the hope of
You-
Even though it slipped
Right through
The crevices of my closed
Finger tips-

As I longed for iron hands-

And I am drowning
In desperation,

Missing the song of you.

I hate the lies that poured out
Of your
Mouth

And I hate that I'd drink them
Up
Still

And I miss them
Like they've been cut out of me.

And I hate the way you dangled
Yourself right in front of me
But I could never have you-

And you had all
The hope in me-
You captivated me...

And pulled
Every ounce of breath
Right from my chest.
And I gravitated towards you-

And I hate that I wasn't what
Was right-
After everything-
I wasn't on your list.

And you?
Were everything on mine.

Like I had dreamed you up;
You were the impossible to find.

But oh,

You came quick and strong
And left sharp and bold;

And I hate all the seconds I
Blinked because I'm sure
I missed there-

Whole moments of you.

And I'd give
My heart
For one last second
Of you.

And I'd never blink again!
Or Move!

And I hate
That it came down between you
And my dignity-

What a dirty game!

I try not to regret picking me,

But oh how I hate missing you.

And isn't that a loss of dignity all The same?
Because I pick you in the Stillness of the night-
Where no one knows...

So low!

I've lost twice at my own game...

Me-
The unruly,
Unkempt,
Undefinable mistake-
You erased from your list,

After calculating
That I was only a stain...

The stain
You washed right out of
You-

You, who were so disgusted
With

The hope of love
That I'd fallen into.